What's in a Name?!

As I pedaled my way to shedding beau coup calories, an image of a modern-day Adonis appeared before my very eyes... Oh my goodness! Who is this vision of physical perfection? And why of all times, does he see me when I'm at my utmost worst (sweaty, shirt drenched and clinging to my far from sexy physique)?! You know, at that exact moment, I regretted ever liking ice cream and chocolates because they have molded me to what I am physically right now...

So I casually went to the logbook and tried to catch a glimpse of the name of the mysterious gym junkie... And to my surprise, he was also a member of the "TAN" dynasty (initials: W. Tan). What is with the boys of the TAN heritage that makes my heart flutter and my brain melt into a puddle of nothing? I swear! It's either I have huge crushes on them, or they become my good friends, or if I'm really lucky, they pursue me... As of now, I can think of five guys with the surname TAN who, in some way or another, have been connected to me in the past. Sheesh!

I really had a hard time working out because I was damn conscious at how my fats rolled when I did this or how my skin glistened with the droplets of sweat... But I sure am happy to see that my crush did notice me and even threw a smile my way... Whoopty doo!!!

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The Desire to be Great

Last night, me and my friends went out to have one of our "meetings" where we talk about anything that's been going on with our lives. From the most shallow of thoughts, like, "What was that song with the grammatical error Roquee's been ranting about? (toodoot doo, doo, doo, toodoot doo, and it goes... the way you just whisper me... wtf!?... hehe)", to the deep and more sociably acceptable topic of what lies ahead in our respective careers and lives.

My best friend has finally decided to follow her heart despite the distance from family and friends and the fear of adjustment. I am so psyched and happy for my friend's vigor in her life but I envy her. She has dedicated weeks of research and intensive planning while I waste away my time sleeping, eating, lots of sudoku (it's the latest craze in puzzles right now), and a whole lot more of phooey. And for what? Just so I could get on by with my day... It's not that I don't want to be a better person, it's just that I can't bring myself to make the first step.

I used to be like her, I had a dream and I had it all planned out. But I seem to have lost that dream, along with myself, and my trim figure as well... I don't know what's wrong with me now. I've lost the drive to excel, forgotten my pursuit for success, and thrown the desire to be great. And it doesn't help that I'm included in the batch tainted with the nursing board exam leaks. You know, I just get so frustrated. Answered the damn exams honestly... Sheesh! I'm angry at the system and I'm angry at myself.

I may come off as a person with a cheerful disposition... Sure, I laugh at your jokes, I smile, and I kid around. But mind you, I'm beginning to feel that I'm secretly nursing a sad and morose monster within me because I just feel that I hate everything right now... And I hate me for feeling that way...

Lonely People Blog

I have recently read somewhere that lonely people blog. And it got me thinking, am I lonely? Do I really have no one to talk to and that's why I put my thoughts into writing? You know, I really thought I could answer both of these questions in a snap. But I didn't, it took me quite a while to decide that my answer would be a NO.

There were a number of times when I certainly felt that I was lonely. I was lonely after a failed relationship, I was lonely hanging with insincere and backbiting friends, I was lonely during the first few weeks of college, and so many more lonely episodes in my life that I'm just too stubborn to bring out in the open. I've always said that memory is a funny thing. Memories, when brought back to life, come back with full vigor and great detail. For example, when you're actually in the moment, you don't really take much notice of what you wore, or what the weather was, or how lonely the streets seemed. In that instant, you just go on doing what you do... But when you remember, when it all comes crawling back to you, you gain sight of every single detail and feel twice as much hurt or joy. I don't know if this happens to all of us, but it's like this for me, it always has been.

I guess I will have to agree that lonely people do blog but they are not the only ones doing so. Happy people blog, bored people (like me... hehe) blog, passionate people blog, and the list goes on. I really don't care who blogs on the net, everybody is entitled to that. What bothers me is why the statement, lonely people blog, has this negative effect on me. It's like I'm doing my best to paint a picture but then suddenly some one accidentally nudges my arm and ruins the canvas with one small imperfection. I don't know. Maybe I am a lonely person posing to be all happy and giddy. Or maybe I'm just over reacting... I tend to over analyze things a lot. Sheesh! I need answers people. I am just so confused right now that it actually hurts to think.

For Real?!

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

I actually think I look more like Shirley Temple, right? Haha... Beyonce?! For sure?! With that percentage rating, Beyonce sure is moving all the way to the left, to the left. Hehe... You should try this, it's really fun and quite surprising. I'm just lucky I didn't get a male celebrity as a look-alike... I tried it on some of my friends and I had a load of laughs. Try it and see for yourself... Good luck!